Not a fan of January
My son (Harrison) has been on at me for some time to do another blog post, so I thought it was time that I sat down and did one. Most of my blog postings will be about my attempts to get fit and get into a rugby shirt, A change of pace for this one - it's why I'm not a fan of January...
I don't like January, I just don't. It's unusual for me to have a particular feeling about a month or something obscure like that. I get that people can have favourite colours etc but I've never understood why people like particular days of the week, numbers or months. I didn't go in for that sort of thing (being a bloke) and never gave it any particular thought until a couple of weeks ago and a phone call my wife (Denise) got at 0418 on 2nd January this year. The phone call was from her Dad (Dave) to inform us that his wife (Cher) had passed away. She had lost her long and incredibly dignified battle with cancer.
Denise's phone ringing had woken us both up and I knew before she answered the call what we were going to be told. Sadly it had been expected. Dave had told us a few days before Christmas that the doctors could no longer do anything for her and that Cher had only a matter of days to live. So it was a phone call we'd been expecting all over Christmas. After Denise finished the short phone call with her Dad we both lay there for a few minutes taking the news in. It was then the thoughts about not liking January started going through my head. 2nd January was my first day back at work after the Christmas break. I look forward to Christmas and the time off all year around but always dread the alarm going off on the first day back. I also think of January as being the 'dog days' of winter. It always feels like a long month after Christmas, nothing is really going on - we are all waiting for payday and the nights are still long.
Specifically, 2nd January holds a bad memory for us. It was the day in 2004 that we'd gone for a scan at Southmead Hospital and been informed that our first child had died and was stillborn. So for Cher to pass away on the same date really puts a tin hat on the month early on. As much as I've said that this post is about not liking January it also needs to be about Cher. Cher was a kind loving person with, as her son described at her funeral yesterday, a dry Bristolian sense of humour. Something as a Bristolian I could always appreciate. Cher came into our lives at a the end of a period of sadness in our family. Denise's mum had passed away and we had lost our son. The period of sadness was coming to an end when Denise fell pregnant with our son Harrison. When things seemed at there most happy Cher came into Dave's life and made things even better. Dave was happy, Denise was happy and so was I.
Over the next few months over many meals out at pubs we got to now Cher and she moved in with us shortly after (we shared a house with Dave). As soon as Harrison was born Cher was enamoured with him. Buying him presents and taking him out for walks in his pushchair to try and settle him when he was unsettled. When Cher married Dave Harrison was only 4 months old. Cher insisted that he have a suit to wear to their wedding. She went out and got him one - we have a picture of him in his car seat wearing the cream coloured suit she bought him - it hangs in his wardrobe now. When Harrison was at primary school Cher and Dave would collect Harrison from school once a week and take him wherever he wanted for a meal and let him eat what he wanted before doing the grandparent thing and handing him back to us full up and full of gas!!
Over the last few weeks since Cher passed away whenever I think of her there is always a funny story I think of with her, I will share some now. Not long after they were married Dave retired and they spent a lot of time travelling and going on holidays. I joked with them quite often that they had more holidays than Judith Chalmers. They went through a period of holiday injuries. For about 18 months whenever they went on holiday, usually to Tenerife or Benidorm, there would be a visit to the local A&E.
One particular holiday, Denise and I hadn't received any text messages or phone calls about any such visits so I was more than a bit surprised when I pulled into the car park at Bristol Airport and Cher waved her hand in the air to see her hand and wrist in a plaster cast. 'What the bloody hell have you done?!?' I laughingly asked as I got out of the car to get their luggage in the boot of the car. 'Well I've dislocated and broke me finger' was the reply I got in such away as to suggest I'd asked a daft question. 'Ok then' I replied as I loaded up their luggage and then pulled out of the airport and set off for home. 'So how did you do that?' I asked as I hadn't been offered an explanation as to the cause of the injury' 'I did it pulling my knickers up when I went to the toilet one night!!' To this day I don't know how I managed the drive back to Weston super Mare after being told that - I had tears in my eyes from trying to stifle my laughter. The only thing I could see clearly was Dave sat in the back of the car quietly sniggering away at the answer. I never asked, but to this day I don't know how it was physically possible to dislocate and break your finger pulling your knickers up. I'd never realised it was that dangerous a thing to do!!
Cher didn't have a bad bone in her body and no matter what she said you could never take offence at it because you know Cher would have never intended it that way. An example of this happened on a visit to Costco. Denise and me had been there a few times and told Dave and Cher about it and said we'd take them there on a Saturday - as they handed out free food samples on a Saturday. So one Saturday we took them. As we walked around we came across a chap who was of Asian descent dishing out free samples of cooked sausage. I took a sample and waited for Cher to take a sample. She took a bite of sausage and ate it and simply then said 'Oh I thought that would be spicy because you were serving it.' I couldn't believe what she'd said. Cher just walked off without giving it another thought. I stood there frozen, waiting for someone to complain. The chap serving the sausages just laughed it off as I apologised for what Cher had said. The measure of Cher was when we told her on the way home what she had said and how it could have been taken another way, she wanted us to turn around to go and apologise to the chap. She was mortified as she hadn't said it with any nasty intent. That was Cher generous, loving and not a malicious cell in her body.
Our dog Monty will also miss her. Every time Cher came around to our house not only did she have pocket money for Harrison but she'd always have some sort o
I don't like January, I just don't. It's unusual for me to have a particular feeling about a month or something obscure like that. I get that people can have favourite colours etc but I've never understood why people like particular days of the week, numbers or months. I didn't go in for that sort of thing (being a bloke) and never gave it any particular thought until a couple of weeks ago and a phone call my wife (Denise) got at 0418 on 2nd January this year. The phone call was from her Dad (Dave) to inform us that his wife (Cher) had passed away. She had lost her long and incredibly dignified battle with cancer.
Denise's phone ringing had woken us both up and I knew before she answered the call what we were going to be told. Sadly it had been expected. Dave had told us a few days before Christmas that the doctors could no longer do anything for her and that Cher had only a matter of days to live. So it was a phone call we'd been expecting all over Christmas. After Denise finished the short phone call with her Dad we both lay there for a few minutes taking the news in. It was then the thoughts about not liking January started going through my head. 2nd January was my first day back at work after the Christmas break. I look forward to Christmas and the time off all year around but always dread the alarm going off on the first day back. I also think of January as being the 'dog days' of winter. It always feels like a long month after Christmas, nothing is really going on - we are all waiting for payday and the nights are still long.
Specifically, 2nd January holds a bad memory for us. It was the day in 2004 that we'd gone for a scan at Southmead Hospital and been informed that our first child had died and was stillborn. So for Cher to pass away on the same date really puts a tin hat on the month early on. As much as I've said that this post is about not liking January it also needs to be about Cher. Cher was a kind loving person with, as her son described at her funeral yesterday, a dry Bristolian sense of humour. Something as a Bristolian I could always appreciate. Cher came into our lives at a the end of a period of sadness in our family. Denise's mum had passed away and we had lost our son. The period of sadness was coming to an end when Denise fell pregnant with our son Harrison. When things seemed at there most happy Cher came into Dave's life and made things even better. Dave was happy, Denise was happy and so was I.
Over the next few months over many meals out at pubs we got to now Cher and she moved in with us shortly after (we shared a house with Dave). As soon as Harrison was born Cher was enamoured with him. Buying him presents and taking him out for walks in his pushchair to try and settle him when he was unsettled. When Cher married Dave Harrison was only 4 months old. Cher insisted that he have a suit to wear to their wedding. She went out and got him one - we have a picture of him in his car seat wearing the cream coloured suit she bought him - it hangs in his wardrobe now. When Harrison was at primary school Cher and Dave would collect Harrison from school once a week and take him wherever he wanted for a meal and let him eat what he wanted before doing the grandparent thing and handing him back to us full up and full of gas!!
Over the last few weeks since Cher passed away whenever I think of her there is always a funny story I think of with her, I will share some now. Not long after they were married Dave retired and they spent a lot of time travelling and going on holidays. I joked with them quite often that they had more holidays than Judith Chalmers. They went through a period of holiday injuries. For about 18 months whenever they went on holiday, usually to Tenerife or Benidorm, there would be a visit to the local A&E.
One particular holiday, Denise and I hadn't received any text messages or phone calls about any such visits so I was more than a bit surprised when I pulled into the car park at Bristol Airport and Cher waved her hand in the air to see her hand and wrist in a plaster cast. 'What the bloody hell have you done?!?' I laughingly asked as I got out of the car to get their luggage in the boot of the car. 'Well I've dislocated and broke me finger' was the reply I got in such away as to suggest I'd asked a daft question. 'Ok then' I replied as I loaded up their luggage and then pulled out of the airport and set off for home. 'So how did you do that?' I asked as I hadn't been offered an explanation as to the cause of the injury' 'I did it pulling my knickers up when I went to the toilet one night!!' To this day I don't know how I managed the drive back to Weston super Mare after being told that - I had tears in my eyes from trying to stifle my laughter. The only thing I could see clearly was Dave sat in the back of the car quietly sniggering away at the answer. I never asked, but to this day I don't know how it was physically possible to dislocate and break your finger pulling your knickers up. I'd never realised it was that dangerous a thing to do!!
Cher didn't have a bad bone in her body and no matter what she said you could never take offence at it because you know Cher would have never intended it that way. An example of this happened on a visit to Costco. Denise and me had been there a few times and told Dave and Cher about it and said we'd take them there on a Saturday - as they handed out free food samples on a Saturday. So one Saturday we took them. As we walked around we came across a chap who was of Asian descent dishing out free samples of cooked sausage. I took a sample and waited for Cher to take a sample. She took a bite of sausage and ate it and simply then said 'Oh I thought that would be spicy because you were serving it.' I couldn't believe what she'd said. Cher just walked off without giving it another thought. I stood there frozen, waiting for someone to complain. The chap serving the sausages just laughed it off as I apologised for what Cher had said. The measure of Cher was when we told her on the way home what she had said and how it could have been taken another way, she wanted us to turn around to go and apologise to the chap. She was mortified as she hadn't said it with any nasty intent. That was Cher generous, loving and not a malicious cell in her body.
Our dog Monty will also miss her. Every time Cher came around to our house not only did she have pocket money for Harrison but she'd always have some sort o
f treat for the dog. He got so used to it that every time Cher visited he'd go nuts jumping all over her and sniffing around her handbag until she produced a treat of some sort. I always loved to hear her laugh as Monty would jump up and try and lick her face in excitement. Even when they would come back from a holiday Monty wouldn't be left out. There'd be a bag of presents (chocolates, duty free etc) for Denise, Harrison and myself and for Monty there'd be a pack of Pedigree Chum chews or similar for him. at Christmas there would be a stocking with Monty's name on among our presents with his name on full of treats
Not long after they married, Dave and Cher moved out of the house we shared into a flat of their own. Over the years we spent many a happy evening at their flat enjoying a takeaway and as he got older watching Cher's attempts to get Harrison drinking cider!! It was after they'd been married a couple of years that Cher was first diagnosed with cancer. Even through the many rounds of chemotherapy that she went through to treat the cancer initially and the four subsequent times it returned, she still kept a smile on her face and unless she was in hospital having chemo, still insisted on collecting Harrison from school once a week with Dave and taking him to Brewers Fayre, Pizza Hut or KFC - wherever he wanted. Despite how crappy the chemo might make her feel if it was one of our birthdays it was never forgot. There was always a card and present on the day and usually a message on Facebook or a text message to with you happy birthday.
That was Cher though - always thinking of others. Even when she knew she didn't have long left she organised birthday cards for Harrison and myself as our Birthdays are in February.
So as much as I don't like January at least when I think of January I'll think of Cher and the funny memories, the acts of kindness, her sense of humour and generally what a wonderful person she was. Rest easy Cher - you will be missed.
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