#27forthomas - The Start
If you've read any of my blog posts before you'll know a few things about me. If you haven't here is a recap -
- I'm from Bristol and have a tendency to type in Bristolian,
- I'm trying to lose weight and do that through diet and running,
- I've been married to my wife for 19 years,
- We have 2 sons. Our first was born sleeping 16 years ago and we have a rainbow 'baby' who is 15 years old in a few weeks time.
- I'm involved with the Bristol group of Sands and have set up a football team in Bristol for bereaved dads like myself.
- Last year my father passed away and in December I was diagnosed with anxiety and stress (which I've probably been suffering with since our first son was born sleeping).
- Our youngest son keeps hounding me to write more blog posts.
So, you're all caught up now.
Since I got involved with Sands back in May/June 2018 I've been fortunate enough to meet some truly amazing and inspiring people who befriend, volunteer on the committee and fundraise. We've all come together through the shittiest of circumstances but I count them as some of my closest friends who continually inspire me.
I've started a running challenge this year that has been inspired by 3 people in particular that I've met through Sands.
Last year I went up to Northampton to see the original Sands United FC play and to meet the players - as I was in the early days of setting up a team in Bristol. Through the team I became aware of a dad called Ross Coniam. In memory of his angel baby he'd started a physical challenge he'd called #ninefornorah in honour of his angel Norah. Through the year Ross completed at least 9 different challenges including the London Marathon and the Three Peaks Challenge. I'd followed Ross and his progress on social media and towards the end of the year (shortly before the Sands AGM and Conference) had got in touch and mentioned, inspired by his challenge, I was thinking of taking up a running challenge in 2020 based around his idea. Meeting him at the conference was amazing and inspiring.
The 2nd person is Stephen Doran. Stephen is a fellow gaffer of a Sands football team. Along with Rhys he manages the Cardiff team. We'd been in touch through the spring and early summer last year as we helped to put out a team to play Cardiff in their launch game. Cardiff returned the favour and played in our launch game in September. Quite quickly we've become friends. In the Autumn of 2019 Stephen set himself a challenge to run 5k for the babies of every member of his team and to complete that by 'Baby Loss Awareness Week' in October. How can you not get inspired by that sort of commitment to your team?
The 3rd person is Hilary Sturgeon. Hilary is the treasurer of the Bristol Sands group and an amazing befriender. I first met Hilary briefly at the Bristol 10k in May 2018 - I say briefly because Hilary runs much quicker than I do!! I met her properly a few weeks later at the South West Network day a few days after I'd joined the Bristol committee. Hilary (like all befrienders and committee members in Bristol) was very welcoming and put me at ease as I started my journey with Bristol Sands. Hilary has taken on the challenge of running the London Marathon in April 2020 to raise money for Sands. To do this people can buy the miles she is running at the marathon and in training runs in memory of their angels.
Towards the end of 2019 I'd been sketching out (in my mind) a running challenge for 2020. Part of the reason I run is for my mental health. For the time I'm out running I generally clear my mind and just think about where I'm running and controlling my breathing. In a fit of over exuberance I registered for the Bristol 10k in May (this will be the third time I've done it) and the Bristol Half Marathon in September. Yes you read that right - the Bristol Half Marathon. I'm not joking. What I'd decided to do was to run 27 runs of at least 10k - in context I've only done 10k 7 times before. The 27th and final one would be the Bristol Half Marathon on 27th September. The number 27 is very significant to my wife and I. Our first son Thomas was born sleeping at 27 weeks into the pregnancy.
Some of the runs will be 'official events' - like the Bristol 10k. Others will be more informal runs along the promenade in my home town of Weston-super-Mare. I'm trying to raise £2,700. If I can raise it the first £2,000 of the money will got to the football team I've started up in Bristol. Anything above that will be split between Bristol Sands and Sands United (national). To raise money I am trying to sell my runs and the miles of the half marathon. There is 1 run and 1.1miles that are not up for sale. Run number 1 and the last 1.1mile of the Bristol Half Marathon are for me and Thomas.
I started my challenge on Sunday 5th January 2020 - this would've been Thomas's 16th birthday. I'm hoping to record my progress through a series of blog and social media postings. This one will cover my first 2 runs.
RUN 1 - #27forthomas (Sunday 5th January 2020)
As mentioned above I started my challenge on 5th January - Thomas's birthday. When the alarm went off and I sat on the bed while I straightened myself out, and had an anxiety attack. What the hell was I doing setting myself a challenge like this? Why had I been so stupid and told friends I was going to do this? First thing I did to try and overcome this anxiety, was to sat there on the bed to calm my breathing. The next thing was to remember what I tell Harrison whenever he get's stressed about the amount of homework he's got. I always ask him 'how do you eat an elephant? The answer I tell him is 'one bite at a time'. That's how I had to approach this challenge. The next bite of the elephant for me was to get out of bed and get dressed. I did that. The next bite was to go out the door and start running...
Normally for me running is quite a calming activity. Not this morning. Being very aware of the date I was running on and why I was starting this challenge in the first place was playing very heavy on me. I was feeling incredibly emotional every step I took. Natalie, who is a close friend of mine, and me never ask each other how we are. We ask each other how our shoes are (a long story). This morning, mentally, my shoes were hurting so bad. I wanted to set fire to them while I was wearing them - that would hurt less than they did at the minute. Every step I took my shoes felt worse and worse. I knew I was welling up as I went around and struggling to control my emotions. Had I done the wrong thing by trying to start this challenge on Thomas's birthday. Was I going too far in trying to make him and Harrison proud of me and honour him.
As I got to nearly the half way point of my run I looked out from Knightstone Island and the sun was coming up and starting to create lovely colours in the sky. At that moment I felt a sense of calm come over me. It was almost as if Thomas had chosen that moment to smile down on me and let me know it was ok to feel like I did but that he was ok. From then on my the run became mentally easier (my shoes still hurt like a bastard because of the significance of the day) but I felt I could finish the 10k.
I then started to push myself a bit. I'd looked at the time on my app and thought I could do a sub 90 minute 10k - something I'd never done before. In the end I did the run in 1hr 26 mins. I was happy with the start to the challenge and felt that I'd taken an important bite out of this elephant!!
RUN 2 - #27forthomas (Sunday 12th January 2020)
This run has been bought by my mum. For her it's for her 2 grandchildren - 1 angel (Thomas)and 1 rainbow (Harrison). For anyone who isn't familiar with the term 'rainbow baby' a rainbow baby comes after a baby that's been lost. You often see a rainbow after a storm.
Which leads me onto this run and the storm I was out in!! So getting up and taking this bite out of the elephant wasn't as difficult as last week. To keep things fresh I'd chosen a different route to run this morning. A combination of 2 different 5k routes I run. If you're a runner or know a runner you'll know that they buy lots of pairs of running shoes and accessories. I'm no different. This morning (as I was running for my mums choice) I wore my Under Armour trainers. These are blue with orange laces and have a metal tag on each shoelace. Each one has the name of each of my sons (my mums grandsons on) so I thought that was particularly appropriate for today.
One of the big problems today was going to be the wind. For at least half of the run I was going into a strong headwind coming from the start of 'Storm Brendan'. A lot of that headwind would be towards the back half of the run - not ideal!! While I was out running I bumped into (well - he was out running too and caught up with me) a mate I know from work - Darren. He's a great lad. As he came along side me he said 'I thought I could see Kipchoge running'. Meeting Darren and getting a comment like that came at the right time. I was starting to struggle a bit, but he ran with me for a little while and it gave me the boost I needed!! I decided to lengthen the route I was running a bit to see what I could really do. I'd never gone over 10k before. In the end I completed 11.1k in 1hr 38. If I can manage that pace in September I'll complete the Half Marathon in just under 3hrs - which I'll be happy with. The only real downside to this mornings run was the rainstorm I got caught in with about 3km to go. It hosed down for about 10 minutes. I still had 20 minutes in wet running gear. Although I need to remember, I'm running in the UK - the weather won't always be on my side!!
So there are my first 2 runs. I hope you enjoyed reading about them.
If you'd like to find out more, or even sponsor me I've set up a GoFundMe page - gofundme.com/f/27forthomas
- I'm from Bristol and have a tendency to type in Bristolian,
- I'm trying to lose weight and do that through diet and running,
- I've been married to my wife for 19 years,
- We have 2 sons. Our first was born sleeping 16 years ago and we have a rainbow 'baby' who is 15 years old in a few weeks time.
- I'm involved with the Bristol group of Sands and have set up a football team in Bristol for bereaved dads like myself.
- Last year my father passed away and in December I was diagnosed with anxiety and stress (which I've probably been suffering with since our first son was born sleeping).
- Our youngest son keeps hounding me to write more blog posts.
So, you're all caught up now.
Since I got involved with Sands back in May/June 2018 I've been fortunate enough to meet some truly amazing and inspiring people who befriend, volunteer on the committee and fundraise. We've all come together through the shittiest of circumstances but I count them as some of my closest friends who continually inspire me.
I've started a running challenge this year that has been inspired by 3 people in particular that I've met through Sands.
Last year I went up to Northampton to see the original Sands United FC play and to meet the players - as I was in the early days of setting up a team in Bristol. Through the team I became aware of a dad called Ross Coniam. In memory of his angel baby he'd started a physical challenge he'd called #ninefornorah in honour of his angel Norah. Through the year Ross completed at least 9 different challenges including the London Marathon and the Three Peaks Challenge. I'd followed Ross and his progress on social media and towards the end of the year (shortly before the Sands AGM and Conference) had got in touch and mentioned, inspired by his challenge, I was thinking of taking up a running challenge in 2020 based around his idea. Meeting him at the conference was amazing and inspiring.
The 2nd person is Stephen Doran. Stephen is a fellow gaffer of a Sands football team. Along with Rhys he manages the Cardiff team. We'd been in touch through the spring and early summer last year as we helped to put out a team to play Cardiff in their launch game. Cardiff returned the favour and played in our launch game in September. Quite quickly we've become friends. In the Autumn of 2019 Stephen set himself a challenge to run 5k for the babies of every member of his team and to complete that by 'Baby Loss Awareness Week' in October. How can you not get inspired by that sort of commitment to your team?
The 3rd person is Hilary Sturgeon. Hilary is the treasurer of the Bristol Sands group and an amazing befriender. I first met Hilary briefly at the Bristol 10k in May 2018 - I say briefly because Hilary runs much quicker than I do!! I met her properly a few weeks later at the South West Network day a few days after I'd joined the Bristol committee. Hilary (like all befrienders and committee members in Bristol) was very welcoming and put me at ease as I started my journey with Bristol Sands. Hilary has taken on the challenge of running the London Marathon in April 2020 to raise money for Sands. To do this people can buy the miles she is running at the marathon and in training runs in memory of their angels.
Towards the end of 2019 I'd been sketching out (in my mind) a running challenge for 2020. Part of the reason I run is for my mental health. For the time I'm out running I generally clear my mind and just think about where I'm running and controlling my breathing. In a fit of over exuberance I registered for the Bristol 10k in May (this will be the third time I've done it) and the Bristol Half Marathon in September. Yes you read that right - the Bristol Half Marathon. I'm not joking. What I'd decided to do was to run 27 runs of at least 10k - in context I've only done 10k 7 times before. The 27th and final one would be the Bristol Half Marathon on 27th September. The number 27 is very significant to my wife and I. Our first son Thomas was born sleeping at 27 weeks into the pregnancy.
Some of the runs will be 'official events' - like the Bristol 10k. Others will be more informal runs along the promenade in my home town of Weston-super-Mare. I'm trying to raise £2,700. If I can raise it the first £2,000 of the money will got to the football team I've started up in Bristol. Anything above that will be split between Bristol Sands and Sands United (national). To raise money I am trying to sell my runs and the miles of the half marathon. There is 1 run and 1.1miles that are not up for sale. Run number 1 and the last 1.1mile of the Bristol Half Marathon are for me and Thomas.
I started my challenge on Sunday 5th January 2020 - this would've been Thomas's 16th birthday. I'm hoping to record my progress through a series of blog and social media postings. This one will cover my first 2 runs.
RUN 1 - #27forthomas (Sunday 5th January 2020)
As mentioned above I started my challenge on 5th January - Thomas's birthday. When the alarm went off and I sat on the bed while I straightened myself out, and had an anxiety attack. What the hell was I doing setting myself a challenge like this? Why had I been so stupid and told friends I was going to do this? First thing I did to try and overcome this anxiety, was to sat there on the bed to calm my breathing. The next thing was to remember what I tell Harrison whenever he get's stressed about the amount of homework he's got. I always ask him 'how do you eat an elephant? The answer I tell him is 'one bite at a time'. That's how I had to approach this challenge. The next bite of the elephant for me was to get out of bed and get dressed. I did that. The next bite was to go out the door and start running...
Normally for me running is quite a calming activity. Not this morning. Being very aware of the date I was running on and why I was starting this challenge in the first place was playing very heavy on me. I was feeling incredibly emotional every step I took. Natalie, who is a close friend of mine, and me never ask each other how we are. We ask each other how our shoes are (a long story). This morning, mentally, my shoes were hurting so bad. I wanted to set fire to them while I was wearing them - that would hurt less than they did at the minute. Every step I took my shoes felt worse and worse. I knew I was welling up as I went around and struggling to control my emotions. Had I done the wrong thing by trying to start this challenge on Thomas's birthday. Was I going too far in trying to make him and Harrison proud of me and honour him.
As I got to nearly the half way point of my run I looked out from Knightstone Island and the sun was coming up and starting to create lovely colours in the sky. At that moment I felt a sense of calm come over me. It was almost as if Thomas had chosen that moment to smile down on me and let me know it was ok to feel like I did but that he was ok. From then on my the run became mentally easier (my shoes still hurt like a bastard because of the significance of the day) but I felt I could finish the 10k.
I then started to push myself a bit. I'd looked at the time on my app and thought I could do a sub 90 minute 10k - something I'd never done before. In the end I did the run in 1hr 26 mins. I was happy with the start to the challenge and felt that I'd taken an important bite out of this elephant!!
RUN 2 - #27forthomas (Sunday 12th January 2020)
This run has been bought by my mum. For her it's for her 2 grandchildren - 1 angel (Thomas)and 1 rainbow (Harrison). For anyone who isn't familiar with the term 'rainbow baby' a rainbow baby comes after a baby that's been lost. You often see a rainbow after a storm.
Which leads me onto this run and the storm I was out in!! So getting up and taking this bite out of the elephant wasn't as difficult as last week. To keep things fresh I'd chosen a different route to run this morning. A combination of 2 different 5k routes I run. If you're a runner or know a runner you'll know that they buy lots of pairs of running shoes and accessories. I'm no different. This morning (as I was running for my mums choice) I wore my Under Armour trainers. These are blue with orange laces and have a metal tag on each shoelace. Each one has the name of each of my sons (my mums grandsons on) so I thought that was particularly appropriate for today.
One of the big problems today was going to be the wind. For at least half of the run I was going into a strong headwind coming from the start of 'Storm Brendan'. A lot of that headwind would be towards the back half of the run - not ideal!! While I was out running I bumped into (well - he was out running too and caught up with me) a mate I know from work - Darren. He's a great lad. As he came along side me he said 'I thought I could see Kipchoge running'. Meeting Darren and getting a comment like that came at the right time. I was starting to struggle a bit, but he ran with me for a little while and it gave me the boost I needed!! I decided to lengthen the route I was running a bit to see what I could really do. I'd never gone over 10k before. In the end I completed 11.1k in 1hr 38. If I can manage that pace in September I'll complete the Half Marathon in just under 3hrs - which I'll be happy with. The only real downside to this mornings run was the rainstorm I got caught in with about 3km to go. It hosed down for about 10 minutes. I still had 20 minutes in wet running gear. Although I need to remember, I'm running in the UK - the weather won't always be on my side!!
So there are my first 2 runs. I hope you enjoyed reading about them.
If you'd like to find out more, or even sponsor me I've set up a GoFundMe page - gofundme.com/f/27forthomas
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