Our little boy...

Harrison (our youngest son) every now and then asks me when I'm going to write another blog post. Apparently he quite enjoys the few blog posts I've done previously. Its something I've meant to do with more regularity than I have done in the past. 

Just for Harrison I promise I'll try to write more posts for you. 

For the time being here is my latest post. Harrison this one is for you - quite literally, its all about you mate. You are my inspiration. This one is an additional birthday present for you - another present on your 16th birthday (and we can't believe you are 16!!).

I remember the day you came into this world almost minute by minute, from the time your mum rung me from the hospital to tell me that your planned early entrance to this world was going to be a couple of days early to when I went to sleep in the early hours of the next morning.

For a couple of hours that afternoon I sat outside the operating theatre at Southmead Hospital (the old building) absolutely shitting myself (he knows I swear now and then). Shitting myself because I had no idea how this afternoon was going to turn out. Was I going to end the day with my wife and youngest son both alive or both of them not alive and all combinations in-between (previous blog posts will explain why).

After what seemed like an eternity a midwife came out to tell me that you'd been delivered safely and were doing well and was strong and healthy. Once she’d given me the details (most of which I forgot instantly 😂 ) of your delivery she walked back into the operating theatre. I sat back down in the waiting area (surrounded by all the bags full of mums crap stuff that she'd accumulated from nearly a week in hospital put my head in my hands and had a little cry. 

Unlike our time at the hospital just over a year early, these were tears of joy. I just couldn't believe you'd been born and born safely and that both you and your mum were going to be just fine. As most dads will probably testify this is the time when we really start shitting ourselves. We're now responsible for keeping another human being alive, a realisation that nobody prepares you for. After a few seconds of this panic I realised how blessed we were for your safe arrival and realised that this was going to be a privilege looking after you. I couldn't wait to get you home and pretend to be asleep in the middle of the night so mum would have to get up and feed you look after you and watch you grow.

You turn 16 today and I've been sat here playing the tapes back in my head of those 16 years and trying to pick out a couple of memories to share with you (and probably embarrass you a bit - its what dads do). So many memories going through my head - 

- Teaching you your first words ('HOT DAMN' - heard it in a film or TV programme and got you to say it)

- Seeing you off for your first day at school.

- Coming across a video just before Christmas of you singing down the phone to grandad after your first nativity play and telling him you really wanted to be sheep number 2 (I know you hate the video, but trust me, when you have kids you'll understand how much the clip means to me and your mum)

- Videoing you singing the theme tune to 'Lazytown' into the mirror of the hotel room in Spain on our 1st family holiday.

- 10 minutes later wondering where the sound of running water was coming from in the living area of the same hotel only to realise a potty training Harrison had opened the wardrobe and had dropped his pants and was pissing into the wardrobe.

- Taking you to you first Bristol Bears game and then us both having season tickets and enjoying sitting in the South Stand with Uncle Neil at every home game and eventually mum would come with us. You with a look of bemusement on your face as I shouted myself hoarse at every single game.

- Regretting letting you watch University Challenge with us because you get more questions right than I do!!

There are some others I'll keep for two years time at your 18th birthday party 😉)

For now I want to tell how proud both mum and me are of you. Especially after the last year. I know we are biased but you are the most caring, courteous, funny, warm, loving son we could've ever hoped for. In the last year we know you've had to cope with the anxiety of not knowing what is going to happen with your exams and how that might affect you getting in to college. We know you've had to cope with the worry of whether or not mum would get COVID being as vulnerable as she is and how protective you've been of her. 

You've been so amazing and we simply couldn't be prouder of you. You've dealt with everything amazingly - better than we could've ever hoped for.

Many times over the years while you've been growing up and you've not liked how I've done things and I've always tried to make you understand that its my job to be your dad and not your friend and because of that you won't always like what I say or do. 

As you grow into a fine young man I hope that I can not only be your dad but your friend too.

I can't wait for us to be able to go to the rugby again and (as long as mum is driving) we can both enjoy a cider and a pie together and sing the song that cheers on our team. Now what are the lyrics..?

Happy 16th birthday mate - mum and me love you more than you'll ever know xx

How it started v How its going